010-A Friday Pick-Me-Up

June 12, 2009 at 11:26 pm (Life) (, , , , , , )

Cinnabon Bites
Image by mhaithaca via Flickr

Rant of the day: No, we do not put Neosporin on a baby’s bottom.

I repeat:

NO Neosporin on the baby butt.

Gah! Some people JUST insist on being ignorant, don’t they!

That’s all that I feel like going into with my own personal life, I am tired. It’s 11 p.m. and I work tomorrow.

But I decided to add yet another themed blog posting to my blog: I call it “Funny Friday.” So at least you can leave my blog a bit tickled with laughter, right?

I was thinking of looking for a few ridiculous pick-up lines to throw at my friend to cheer her up last night because she was down. Oh my gosh, the possibilities for absurd pick up lines are endless! Who would agree to a date for some of these? These are my favorites: (WARNING:Some are Rated “R” for ridiculous & rude, so don’t be offended!)

  • “The word of the day is ‘Legs.” Let’s go back to my place and spread the word.”
  • “Are you a hooker? Because I’m hooked on you.”
  • “Do you have any raisins? No? How about a date?”
  • “Do you know karate? Because your body is kickin’!”
  • “If you were a wedgie, I’d pick you!”
  • “Is your dad a baker? Because you’ve got some nice buns.”
  • “My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can’t hold it in.” (Oh yeah, I TOTALLY want to be hit on with this line!!)
  • “You don’t need car keys to drive me crazy.”
  • “Sorry, but you owe me a drink. I looked at you and dropped mine.”
  • “Hey there! You look a lot like my next girlfriend!”
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006- This Is HOW We Do It

June 7, 2009 at 10:44 am (Life) (, , , , , , , , , )

Légumes
Image via Wikipedia

Sunday, a day off. How am I feeling?

Well, annoyed because right after I blogged last night, KP’s dad said he needed to have a talk with the family during dinner. He told us that KP’s mom can’t bear to leave her son and just move off to FL, so we’re expected to drop everything and move with them in 6 weeks.

I am doing everything in my power to convince K that we can do it on our own here. I would rather be penny pinching and happy without his psychotic parents around than have tons of money and a big house and have to do with his selfish mom and idiot of a dad. Seriously! Arrrrgh! Thank goodness for blogging. It gives me a tiny bit of an area to allow myself to share how I honestly feel, because I have tried to explain myself to his parents before, and they get upset with what my opinion is and won’t have any of it. I have seriously never met anyone else so naive and selfish as his parents, and it hurts because I love him as much as I can’t stand them. Maybe my *lucky* day will come…

Anyway, a blog topic!

How…

And that’s it! Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

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His Parents

May 31, 2009 at 7:54 am (Family, Life) (, , , )

I hate to be a Negative Nancy over here, but I truly can’t help it.

You see, the fiance & I live with his parents. This wouldn’t be such a bad thing if his mom wasn’t a pyscho and his dad didn’t talk at me for 3 hours straight. I usually hear the same stories over and over again.

This past week I had asked his dad when he and his wife planned on moving over to Florida. I expected him to say something like, within a year.

“Oh, we’ll be out of here by the end of June or July,” he said.

WE meaning me, my wife, you, my son, and little Narcissus.

Yeah, apparently we are all moving to Florida.

And how does he plan on moving out there? Well, apparently he is part of some club (no idea what type) and they just held golfing tournament to raise money for Jep. Jep suffered a heart attack several years ago and underwent a heart transplant just over a year ago. Evidently now this club that he is part of held a fundraiser to raise money to help him move to be with his family in Florida. Acoording to Jep, he is unaware of how much money was finally raised but he is guessing it to be about 5 grand and that should be enough to move us all out there. His wife doesn’t work either because she can’t work anywhere that she has to meet a certain criteria, i.e., a certain sale number or dealing with people who need customer service. Must be real hard to be her. She has also gone out for attention by pretending she attempted suicide about 13 times now, been admitted to loony hospitals, per her husband, and also per her husband, the doctors at these psychiatric wards claim there is nothing they can do to help her. Note to those alike the Mrs: If you have “attempted” suicide 13 times, you are probably crazy and you need to either

  • get over yourself or
  • just pull the plug already

So me & my love (how do I love him after his crazy parents? Somehow he isn’t crazy. The only thing that makes him crazy is the fact that he supports his parents’ stupid behavior) were pretty pissed off with the fact that we’re expected to move with them within 2 months. This is because unlike the retired-too-early parents, we have commitments.

Honestly, I doubt that this fundraiser raised him that much money. What he says about it doesn’t even match up. Apparently, entrance to the tournament was like $1,000 per person. Okay, so if he assumes that they raised him 5 G’s, that would be 5 people who attended. That’s it? Who in their right mind has $1,000 to give away? Jep has never brought over a single friend to the home to visit. Who cares about hmi that much that they would spend that kind of money?

Another thing: we’re really moving that soon? Yeah right. According to KP, he’s been saying this for 5 years now. I hope that KP decides living here in California is better than with his parents in FL. I would seriously rather live in the tinest apartment with him and call it my own than have to be fake and live in a nice house with his parents.

So let’s all just watch and see if we/they REALLY move out within the next 8 weeks or so.

One a different yet similar subject, when I came home from work yesterday, Jep asked me if he knew if Kai made a strawberry milk drink in the kitchen earlier that morning befoer heading out to work. He had a whole story behind it. Let me provide the quick details:

  • The kitchen floor, counter, and dining table were completely covered in this strawberry goo mix.
  • He thought it was blood at first
  • He actually dug in the trash to show me a napkin that he used to wipe up the mess

I asked KP on our way to the store if he made that drink. He said no. I doubted that he did. I am pretty re that it was the mixed drink (you know, like kool-aid) that Jep made earlier that week and he probably took it out to pour a glass and he spilled some and he doesn’t remember doing it. The drink is a pinkish color. Jep likes to be overly dramatic so that is where the blood story came from. Here are some other ways he is over dramatic:

  • He said little Narcissus rolled over at 3 weeks old
  • N said “mama” at about 1 month
  • KP stood from his car seat when he was a month old (and got angry)
  • N says other words to him, like dad, dog, and grandma (YES, those exact words)
  • He can read the Chinese writing off of a decorative vase that they have in the living room

Funny right? My son STILL, at 5 months, doesn’t even hold his own bottle. Yet he can do those other things. AMAZING!

Here’s a bit about his wife:

She watches television all day long. I mean this when I say it. It’s soap opera day every day on her t.v. She hardly ever holds longer than a five minute conversation with me, but this is because due to her illness (according to her, of course) she cannot talk or cry. Although at least every other night she spends anywhere from half an hour to 60 minutes yelling on the phone to a family member…she has no life! What could she possibly have to talk about?? Oh, probably about how much she thinks that I’m crazy, I’m sure.

She’s also not the brightest blub in the pack when it comes to my child. On the carseat you can move the handle down so you can pull the kid safely out of the car seat, right? She doesn’t take the time to put it down, so she just pulls Narcissus out of it that way, and bumps his head a few times before successfully taking him out. See why I have problems with this woman??! Other things that bother me about her (trust me, you would feel the same way)

  • She has a reputation for burping the baby until the milk shoots out of his nose, which in turn upsets him (and she claims she doesn’t know how it happened!)
  • Not aware of how to put the harness on the dog to walk her
  • Does not know how to operate her iPod, so when she goes on her walk, someone has to do it for her
  • She has one apple martini once a week and claims she gets a hangover from drinking it about 1.5 hours later
  • I honestly cannot remember the last time she asked to just hold the baby. I’m gonna go with never. Seriously. I honestly do not think she cares about him. And im not yelling it at you, either.

That’s it for my rants. I had to write about it sometime or another. Don’t ge the wrong impression; I am a generally happy person! I work part time (something the mom “CAN’T” do, so that definitely makes me a better person!) I enjoy life, I hang out with my friends, I write. I have my frustrations like everyone else…and if you knew his parents, you would understand! If there is anyone out there with simlar stories, I would love to hear!

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